We Are All Veterans

"When the Indian saint Ramakrishna was asked why there is evil in the world, he answered, “To thicken the plot.” These very plot thickeners, often the most difficult and insistent ones, can lead us to open our bodies, hearts, and minds." 

~ from A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield

We are all veterans. We all have some powerfully painful experience we have survived. We are here to survive our experiences and grow from them. 

It is just the way it is.

And the best part of this, for me, is to be a veteran means the experience of struggle is past and now I can move on! The realization that the battle is over and that I have survived is so joyous for me! I am free to look forward toward whatever is next…knowing more than I did before and confidently knowing I can take it! 

What struggle can you triumphantly now put behind you?

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A Daily Practice

"Fish live in streams

Birds nest in trees

Human beings dwell

In warm hearts."

~Japanese folk Zen saying

Keeping my heart open is the plan for the day. It is the plan for everyday. It is a mantra, a philosophy, a way of life.

Keeping my heart open allows all my periodic fears to be passers by and not live-in lovers.

Keeping my heart open allows change and surprise to be trusted companions instead of unwelcome apes leaving banana peels across my path.

Keeping my heart open creates wonder within every breath I take, beneath every step I make and behind every blink of my big 'ol fascinated eyes.

Keeping my heart open is my daily practice.

What is your daily practice that supports you NO-MATTER-WHAT?

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No Need for Struggle

"Don't keep pushing against closed doors. Look around for the open ones." ~ sanyana roman

Every now and then I get caught up in wanting a thing that may not be mine. I feel owed it. Or I need it. Or I just would like to have it because I briefly enjoyed it...so it must be mine.

For me, "being caught" is an indication I have stepped out of the flow of things and have begun a familiar dance of dragging myself against my better interest or anchoring myself when I could be happily moving along. Feelings of powerlessness show up as a life circumstance becomes harder than it has to be. And in the end - after some misbegotten actions or emotions - I get that it was never meant to be mine or perhaps there is a better way to do something.

I wonder why this happens? How come I retrace these steps now and then? 

It seems as if the wanted thing is the least of my concerns. I am coming to realize it is the unlearned lesson "to let go" that I am really after.

Do not get me wrong...struggle to achieve a goal is a good and mighty thing. It cultivates patience, trust, confidence, focus and concentration. But there are a myriad of ways to achieve and knowing that in the deeps of my soul is very liberating.

So I am learning to pay attention. And if it feels like I am being dragged down away from Joy... I stop. I reconsider my options all the while keeping my same goal in mind. It is having this kind of flexibility that eases my way forward. 

There really are endless ways to get there and still stay on your own path! And if you are lucky...and open... some of them may even surprise you!

Do you find flexibility to be one of your go to assets?

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Receiving Love

Oh I can give Love all day long. 

It is automatic and very fulfilling. Every morning I enjoy making sure the needs of my dog are graciously and completely met. 

I feel real happiness making sure my sister has all she needs to be relaxed and feel like a winner. And when I am able to be a provider to my guests so they want for nothing - this is one hell of a yummy time for me. 

I even make sure strangers are not impinged upon as I pick up the shit of my healthy well trained dog! This impulse of mine is done, of course, with a little less enthusiasm, but is no less natural or inate to my being.

But when do I make sure I am ready to fully and completely receive Love? How do I open myself up to accept the abundant possibilities of Love coming to me at every moment from everywhere, everything and everyone?

Can I sopp up Love as automatically as I dish it out? Will I gracefully allow Love into my life without stopping it at the border to check it's credentials. Can I stop batting Love away because I used to be someone else's girl?

When will recieving Love become instinctive, involuntary and impulsive again?

How about from this day forward?

From this day forward I vow to practice letting Love in. From now on I am a receiver of Love from everywhere, everything and everyone. So when I see Love coming I will not duck and I will not hide. I will stay put and let Love spill on to my life. I am porous and soak Love up as naturally as a sponge.

Ah...now doesn't that feel better?

Do you ever stop Love in it's tracks?

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non-judgmental awareness

"The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it." ~thich nhat hahn

Ahhhhhh - to be in non-judgmental awareness is a lovely vacation of sorts. It is a getaway from the push and pull of things. When I am here all that crosses my "virtual desk of life" is not labeled or catogorized or responded to...only experienced as exactly what it is in it's wholeness. In that moment I am the witness.

Not an easy task I realize, but a fun game to play. The apparatus I find most useful in getting there is an open heart. With my heart wide open things expand in their meaning and I find insights in the most common of things.  When I can be in this space life gets larger and is more path-worthy. It is in non-judgmental awareness I find myself more strongly attuned to those subtler senses of intuition & perception.

This all reminds me of the beginning credits in old movies. This movie was filmed in CinemaScope. Not really sure what Cinemascope means, but for me it feels like the picture will be bigger and better than I had ever experienced in the past. 

This life was "lived in Non-JudgmentalAwareness." 

That can only be good - right?

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Perfectly Imperfect!!

Yes - it feels good to see how life is unfolding warts and all; to generate appreciation for a stubbed toe or a missed class. 

There are six pots in my second story window box and one is not getting water due to an out-of-joint drip line. So a little dry brown sprig of dead Asparagus Fern sits stiffly up in the middle of five thriving vessels brimming over with tri-colored Ivys and red Impatiens. As I drive up to my house it waves at me welcoming me home. And I smile. I smile because I know it is OK until I get around to fixing it. And honestly - I am in no hurry.

It is my flag, my banner, my reminder that within all of everything there is some ugly stuff. And knowing this - I mean knowing in the deepest part of myself - I am comforted. And in accepting this life in all of it's manifestations, for me, brings ease to flow.

I am preparing myself for the hard days ahead - when dates will mean more than usual. In celebrating imperfection I am learning to stand my ground as I willingly allow all that comes my way to surge forth. This is how I am healing myself.

You see Michael, my husband now deceased, would have been 54 near the end of July. And it will be two years since his passing sometime in August. And I will celebrate my birthday in between these luminescent dates. Right now the calendar is not looking like my friend. 

But I am finding strength in being conscious so as I encounter those things that wrench my heart sideways I can let them go and watch them pass. BTW - this does not hurt any less, but it heals more. 

In deciding to enjoy a perfectly imperfect life this summer I can happily follow my joys at the same time I am grieving great loss. Contradictory things like this are in everyday life. My experience in revealing this truth, for me, is good stuff making! 

This is why I can laugh as I look down at my freshly shaven legs today. I have left a tiny trail of hairs. a mohawk, front and center on my right shin. Just another sign "all is well" even if a bit uneven! 

So tomorrow I will get on with it. I have a few chores to do. Got a second story garden to till, one leg to shave and a whole lot of healing to do.

What's on your to do list today?

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Happiness is a Choice

"Happiness can be cultivated" says Shawn Achor, author of Before Happiness. He calls it Happiness Hygiene and says it is as essential to living as brushing our teeth and eating right. Here are 5 Two Minute Happiness Drills which Achor's research has proven to actually have the power to make us happier people. His work challenges us to do one or more of these drills for 21 days in order to experience the real difference for ourselves.

Shawn says these practical changes in our behavior are happiness building blocks. These practices allow us to see more meaning in our lives thus increasing our happiness. Which in turn creates an experience of deeper and more enduring joy... for ourselves and others. That's right, Shawn says as we care for our own Happiness Hygiene there exists the real possibility it will spread to those around us.

So here are the 5 Two Minute Happiness Drills that may change the world! Or just make you smile more often. Either way - this is "good stuff making!"

1. SAY ALOUD three NEW gratitudes when you awake each morning.

2. MOVE your body in fun mindful cardio activity - OK this one wants about 10 - 15 minutes!

3. SIT in stillness or meditate - quietly watching your breath for 2 minutes does count!

4. SEND A THANK YOU note, email, or call to someone you know.

5. WRITE a detailed recollection of a happy moment from last 24 hours for just 2 minutes.

If you are like me --- looking at implementing yet another regular routine can feel daunting.  Well suck this one up & GET HAPPY DAMN IT! It is only two minutes... and we need you on our team! 

Too rough?

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Self Love

Soulfully attending to body, mind and spirit manifests all manner of actual good things into being. Here is another list to tack up on the mirror or place by the bed to remind us of this!

The Top Ten Reasons Why I Exercise By Jessica Ortner 

1) Movement in your body means movement in your life. Over and over again, I’ve seen how true that is for me and my life. When I’m feeling stuck, I know I need to move.

2) Movement is an expression of gratitude toward my body for all it does for me.

3) Movement makes me feel connected to my body and its intelligence, which helps me make better decisions and keeps me feeling like my best self.

4) I’m smarter and more creative when I’m exercising. (Research backs this up; exercise causes increased blood flow to the brain, which stimulates the creative centers in the brain.)

5) Movement is a spiritual experience for me, like a physical form of prayer or a moving meditation.

6) Movement makes me feel strong, confident, beautiful, and sexy, like a force to be reckoned with.

7) Movement helps me be in the present moment, which helps me feel at peace.

8) Movement is one of the ways I show myself love, so when I exercise, I’m reminding myself that I’m worthy of my own love.

9)  Movement makes me feel playful and energetic.

10) Movement makes me feel powerful in a deep and authentic way.

Notice what’s missing here? “Burning calories” and “losing weight” appear exactly nowhere on my list.

Gonna take these ideas and run with them! Nothing bad can ever happen by loving yourself...don't you just think?

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Manifesting: the process revealed

"We need not always be effective, but only transparent and vulnerable. Then we are instruments, no matter what we do." ~ richard rohr

I have been gandering at this transition from grieving to gratitud-ing I am making. This is what I have come up with so far.

With no anecdote here that will ground this esoteric discussion, I hope you will stick with me as I dissect why things are seeming to be going my way more and more these days - even when "bad" things happen.

Even though I am unaware of where I am going, what purpose I serve or how I will make my way in this world, I am becoming aware of the process by which my best life can be unfolded.

Acceptance of "what is", i. e. scraping illusion for the subtler substance of things is becoming my go to response in any situation. From here I find myself Requesting what I would like to happen within the circumstance at hand. Then things seem to pan out in my favor --usually in a way I could not have foreseen.

Turns out doing things in this order suits both me and the universe. As I am accepting of what is, my request for change comes from a meatier less grasping place. It rolls with the current rather than crashes into it! This way I am in the flow, flowing forward toward my Destiny...which is still TBD.

And through it all I am finding being transparent and vulnerable allows things to move through me - for my own benefit - and for the benefit of others I hope. I am no longer getting stuck in emotional angst of wishing this "had never happened" or that "is not how it is supposed to be." 

The more I do it the easier it is to be transparent and vulnerable. I recognize these are the vehicles that give juice to things; they allow connections to be made and soulful growth to occur. Plus I am sure whatever I am going through is not singular in nature. I am, as you are, human.

That's where the 'instrument' part of Richard Rohr's quote comes in. I can not think of anything more satisfying than being myself, doing what I love and having those two things serve others.

That is as far as my plan goes these days. Got no details. Got no "to do" list. Got no worries that if I follow this process more will be revealed elegantly and with ease. 

So here are the steps again cuz people like numbering things...

1) Complete acceptance of what is

2) Request anything you like from a place of acceptance

3) Watch as your life favorably unfolds.

Manifesting in this way is very new to me so I am open to any tweaking of the above process! But so far so good...

How do you make manifest the things you desire?

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Rinse and Repeat

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift…" 

~ Albert Einstein

Knowing this I ask again --- what does it feel like to receive unconditional love? 

Now without labeling, without using words or employing images - or memory even - can you summon up the feeling? Can you use your subtler senses to bask in It's immensity? 

Mmm mmm good! 

Now - as most shampoo bottles instruct - rinse and repeat. Rinse off the conditions in which you find yourself and stretch yourself to repeat feeling this feeling once daily.

It would be monumental if we could daily attend to our emotional and intuitive hygiene in this way. Taking a moment each day of our lives to rinse and repeat might allow our day (and thus our lives) to unfold more favorably. 

This is the manner in which I am living today. I am stretching myself beyond what is, letting go of business as usual and allowing what serves best to unfold before me. It is scary. It is uncomfortable. I have much less control, but I know that by attending to my emotional hygiene there is a much richer chance I might evolve toward a greater vision for my life than I can currently conceive.

Got any questions? Me too - loads. But gonna set them aside to feel my way forward today?

Could you let go - even just a little today - to make room for new possibilities?

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