Monday, April 28, 2014

The Bigger Picture May Be Hard to Swallow


"It’s like Mahatma Gandhi gets put in jail and they give him a lice-infested uniform and tell him to clean the latrines, and it’s a whole mess. And he walks up to the head of the guards and he says, in total truth, “Thank you.” He’s not putting them on or up-leveling them. He’s saying, “There’s a teaching here, and I’m getting it; thank you.” ~ ram dass


I have come to know that in most cases the experience I am having at any given moment is just one piece of it All. And I also know I will never fully understand the entire nature of how and why different things manifest into and out of my life. Knowing this is the cornerstone of Unconditional Trust. I hope you won't find this hard to swallow.

What is the relationship between Unconditional Trust and Gratitude?

To become aware that all is well no matter your present circumstance is to experience Unconditional Trust. Actively living Unconditional Trust frees up thoughts and feelings from fear and lack and doubt and let's them soar toward compassion, wonder and new possibilities.

Having experienced loss on a grand scale (the death of my husband) and now more recently in several much smaller ways - a broken necklace, a busted computer, and the real loss of a job - I see there has been a shift. In the past my response to the sudden upsetting of my apple cart was sadness, anger or fear of future or failure. Within this new paradigm my response is that of the witness. I am more reflective. 

I catch myself before things get too far gone. I stop and question the truth of the thing. I look for real places where I can be grateful as life conspires to grow me up. And the best thing is the more I shepard myself toward this new knowing the more automatic it becomes. 

One by one I consciously wash away these reflexive emotionally charged situations and replace them with gratitude. Some may see this as giving up or giving in.  I am not giving up, I am getting on with it! This is an acceptance of what is and an active form of compassion for myself and all others. 

Conditions I see in front of me are only one piece of it. I experience Peace knowing this. So what is the relationship between Unconditional Trust and Gratitude? 

I think they are the same thing...

What do you think?

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The Rush of Simple Pleasure



I felt there again. It was so sweet, that connection to one's I love. We had dinner, my dear friends and I. We discussed all sorts of real and true things about our daily lives, but nothing heavy, nothing too deep. Just regular sharing and regular joy. 

Their, now 2, baby's care came first as we juggled conversation with eating and with all other things. We were together in my home feeling...good. 

The keel is evening out as this is the life I picture for myself. Loving people sharing a lovely time. Closeness and warmth - no dramas, no tears for a change. 

Just the pleasantness of good food, your company and me. I am steeped in gratitude for awareness of this simple pleasure.

What makes up a simple pleasure for you?

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Saturday, April 26, 2014

Permission


A few synonyms for permission are: authorization, consent, leave, authority, sanction, license, dispensation, assent, acquiescence, agreement, seal/stamp of approval, blessing, clearance, allowance & empowerment.

Who gives us permission?  I have come to realize I have the power to give myself permission. Permission to love. Permission to heal. Permission to feel ALL the feelings that arise, not just the good ones. I know when I assent to this I burn off those parts of myself that hold me down. I also give myself permission to focus on those things that make me come alive so I can fly higher than I have ever flown before. Even if I do not know how...I allow it! 

Where can we go to get permission? I go to the dreams of my best life to get permission. I want so much to feel joy and have meaningful relationships. I give myself permission to feel and have all that I desire.

Why do so many of us feel we need permission? In the past I needed external approval to wash away the voice in my head that tells me I cannot have that, I do not deserve this, I am not worthy.

Now, and from this day forward, I give my permission to claim that which has always been *unbelievably* mine - a life filled with love and happiness. This is an internal thing. It is part of my foundation from which all other choices can be made and which supports my core of peace.

So it seems permission is very important. It allows so many things too manifest. 

What are your permissions? And if this is too tough a question. Here is an easier one. 

What will you no longer allow?

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Friday, April 25, 2014

Going Deep


Everything starts with awareness. 

You can choose to be aware in any moment. 

Every moment is a new beginning. 

There are a myriad of moments and new beginnings in every day. 

This is one recipe for unlimited possibilities. 

On your mark. 

Get set. 

GO!

What is your first reaction to these ideas?

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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Love & Power



I will give you my love, but I will not give you my power. I never made that distinction before! They are not the same and cleaving them like this feels true and right. 

For a brief moment I thought I had to get permission to love. But then I came to understand there is no need as love is a giving. 

And so, bringing with it Freedom and Joy I can say, "I love you." I can give you my love, but I do not have to give you my power. 

This kind of Love is no longer a makeshift lean-to, an add on or a form of currency. This kind of Love has a broad and sturdy foundation and is not subject to storms and high winds. It is upon this kind of Love anything can be built. And that "anything" can stand for eons. I am replete.

Got any revelations of your own?

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Homecoming & My Practice



I just got back from a delightful trip to Baltimore. And after four straight days of loving, embracing and renewing connections with family and friends I dearly cherish and being equally embraced and loved by them - I am having a tough time being at home again. 

A vast difference has been shown to me and it is causing this feeling of über darkness. I feel weakened and wounded and completely undone... again!

These folks from my hood know me so well, have my best interest at heart and accept me just as I am. Among them I feel myself and sooooo connected again. Visiting with them reminds me how much I miss having *special & deep* connections in my daily life.

This morning when I awoke, this evening when I left work and right now --- relentless and giant waves of tears are showing up. And even though I know I am graciously supported at all times and in all ways, I am unable to stop them. It is during times like these I am reminded that "being conscious" does not mean everything will always be rosy.   

Showering and getting ready for work this morning I made a choice - I had to - so I could function. I chose to know I am completely supported and I am always graciously provided with everything I need. By shifting my consciousness to this awareness I was able to get on with my day. 

Now at home - alone - I can let these tears fly accepting them and praying the pain that accompanies them will be moved along like loitering kids off a dimly lit street corner. "Go home you trouble makers!" Find a space that brings you comfort and rest there a while. 

If I can only find what false beliefs are back of these tears then I can burn them off and with them a harmful piece of me. Then I can rest. Then I can emerge better than before. 

So my plan is to allow this latest grief tsunami to explode and dissipate while I simultaneously practice knowing "all is well." And I really need to practice cuz I am in the depths here tonite. This is a very heavy lift right now. Writing about it and doing it are two entirely different matters...here I go!

What do you do when things get really rough?

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

A meditation on Beauty



Look at the beauty all around you. Or just look at one thing that is beautiful to you. Really take note of each bit and piece of the thing that is beauty to you. 

Now - close your eyes and recreate the thing - see the shape and the texture and the variations of color and hue. Breathe softly in and out as you carefully review all the bits and pieces. Take your time. Don't miss a thing.

And finally - feel the beauty. Become it if you are able. Breathe softly and notice the sensations of beauty as they arise within you. Allow yourself the option to invent and then have these sensations. Feel it. Notice yourself feeling it. Then feel it again. Let go and float inside the beauty.

These sensations are just as real as the thing you admired as beautiful. Only now they are part of you. You ARE the beauty. 

Just a thought. Give it a try!

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Monday, April 14, 2014

McGee, Keats & Chödrön on Transformation




"What hurts us can cripple us, but it can also shape us into something more powerful. But this requires presence. It requires having a different perspective about what it means to hurt and what it means to experience emotional trauma. One way to change our perspective is to look at our wounds as sacred things. Our sacred wounds can be a great source of personal development. 

Like John Keats wrote --- 

'Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?' ---

Indeed, allowing our wounds to become sacred is allowing Ego to become Soul. If we really allow ourselves to live greatly, we must open ourselves up to being present to our sacred wounds. The ability to have an authentic engagement with life takes the courage to face prior heartache and pain, and the ability to cultivate it and refine it. Either way, the pain and heartache will be there. The question is whether or not we have the courage to transform it into something that can refine our soul. 

Pema Chödrön said it best ---

'We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.' -- 

Letting there be room is allowing for a space, a sacred space, where we can be fully present with our pain." ~ Gary Z McGee

In Blue | April 13, 2014 at 6:08 am | URL: http://wp.me/p1Wc4z-2jp

Sunday, April 13, 2014

A Call to the Universe


So I am having fun and they all say, "Just follow your passions and life will find you!" But I still have that longing, that requirement to be intimately engaged with one other person. To be joyfully entwined with them and all their interesting foibles and have them lovingly entwined with me and all my curious faults.

Why do I want to be peas to some one's carrots? 

Because I know there is soooooo much joy and laughter in this kind of sharing and caring for another. Yes, there will be challenges too, but for the personality that I am, there is nothing in this life that beats this kind of experience. And I want more of it. I want lightning to strike twice. I want a correction made in my path that allows this intimate experience to come directly to me. Do not pass go. Do no collect 200 dollars.

I also know this is how we grow. I know perceived foibles of the other leads us toward discovering our own truths. Yes - although our perceived faults may at times be spot on, they are more often than not guideposts toward something needing recognition within ourselves.

And I know that even when the object of this relationship departs, the Love shared remains forever. This I know for sure.

So it is this kind of circumstance I long for... dare I say it... a love relationship. There are just so many opportunities for such a variety of adventures on a daily basis! Doesn't this excite you?  Well, perhaps it doesn't you, but for me it is pure heaven.

The puzzle of loving someone has an unlimited number of pieces. And I am ready to spread them out on the table and slowly and carefully discover life's biggest picture together. Ah yes, please bring my spiritual partner to me so we can pick up the pieces together.

Of course, the alternative to this kind of experience is to just continue to follow my own passions & have loads of fun. Now these are two very good choices I can get behind! No rocks. No hard places. Just life naturally unfolding with ease, along with Spring, allowing both the sun and the rain to grow me up! 

Have you a longing that needs a more refined definition?

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Monday, April 7, 2014

Normalization?


Life is beginning to make itself fuller with more activities to choose from. I am told this is how ABUNDANCE shows up! With these happenings I begin to wade back into the stream of life.

But I want to be mindful as the waters rise. Dog paddling through meaningless minutia is NOT part of this girl's plan. So I have been searching for a way to stay connected to that thing deep within me that is connected to everything else. For when I reside here the effect is truly calming and clarifying.

Recently I read about a practice called "Sadhana." I think this may be a good solution. Gonna try it and will report back later!

"Sadhana means "endeavoring to obtain a particular result." The result is accelerated spiritual evolution. Sadhana becomes a powerful method to achieve this result. There are three important aspects of sadhana: choice, commitment and aspiration. 

The first stage of sadhana is to choose a practice. Even the most simple sadhana will be challenging to the newcomer. Consider the sadhana of lighting a candle every night, then immediately blowing it out. Nothing more or nothing less. Do this for ninety days. You will observe the mind coming up with every reason why you shouldn't do it and every excuse why you missed a few (or many) nights. Yet by accepting it as a sadhana, you make a choice to do it and it becomes a spiritual practice. 

The second aspect of sadhana relates to regularity -- doing something at periodic intervals. This typically would be at the same time in the same place everyday. Yet it doesn't have to be everyday; it could be every other day or every Tuesday and Thursday, as long as it is regular. Doing practice irregularly is not sadhana. Once the schedule is selected, the challenge of sadhana is to stick with it -- not to miss the appointed time. This is the first measure of commitment. The second measure is to make a commitment for a specific period of time; that is, choose do the practice for thirty days, sixty days, ninety days, or even 108 days. Notice the level of your success, then take a break. Decide upon another practice (or the same one) and make another commitment. 

Choice and regularity are not the only aspects of sadhana. If they were, simply dressing every day would be a sadhana. We choose what clothes to wear and we do it. Dressing could be a sadhana, yet it is just a mechanical action done every day. 

Thus, the final key to a successful sadhana is conscious intention. This is where the power is generated, and more still, when the intention becomes an aspiration. When I first started my sadhana, I chose a simple action, that of the yogic practice of "neti", the washing of the nostrils with water. I had been doing yoga for many years but never as a sadhana. I had even been doing kriya practice for about a year, but never as a sadhana. I chose "neti" because every morning I took a shower in a typically mechanical way. Since I was immersed in streams of water, it became a convenient place and time to remember to do "neti". Besides, snorting water is one good way to shock the mechanism awake. 

For this to be a sadhana, however -- rather than just another cleansing action like washing behind the ears -- intention was necessary. The one I chose, the one I still employ in all the practices of my sadhana today, is represented by the simple statement: 'This is all I have to do to evolve spiritually.' Other variations included: 'This is the only practice I must do to spiritually grow.' 'This is the only act that I need to do to develop as a spiritual being.' With those words not only was an intention created around the practice, but an aspiration. 

For one moment each day, I became consciously aware of having a spiritual goal, of being a spiritual being. Consider once again the candle exercise cited above. Initially, it will challenge the mind and the ego. The spiritual 'you' may even win the battle, but to keep it from becoming mechanical, an intention is required. Try this variation. Light the candle. Say, 'This is all I have to do for the benefit of self, other, and the world.' Then blow out the candle. 

Doing no other practice than this will begin a transformation process that will alter your life. To add even more power behind it, consider this statement, 'This is all I have to do to remember who I am; I remember this for the benefit of Self, Other, and the World.' One immediate result of sadhana is the remembrance of 'who we are' rather than 'what we are' during the brief moments the sadhana takes. Repetitively remembering our inner essence nature is at the heart of all spiritual growth. One day we will remember our spiritual essence in every moment. That is the realized state. 

So start with a simple sadhana to build your confidence. Add another sadhana in addition to this one. Expand a sadhana to include many practices including yoga or other bodily movement, chanting or inner mantra, and kriya practice." ~Alan Verdegraal

How do you stay connected? Are you connected?

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