"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Salvage work. Picking through the wreckage to save the good bits. I have been doing salvage work for the past 4 years. Now I look around to see the world in front of me because I know what is in front of me is what I am feasting upon. In the rawest part of my wrecked life I was not unlike a hawk using only my instincts to feast on the roadkill my life had become. At that time, right after my husband died, I did not have access to any other skills. So I nourished myself this way as a pure act of survival.
I am better now. I have become an artist. Now I enjoy making new things. Now I seek beauty out at every turn. I love to express myself. I am not always industrious and I have had to make peace with this. I am loving and I can be emotional. I have exercised that last skill quite often over these 4 years and have had to figure that one out too. Understanding I am NOT my emotions was the first step to my salvation. Separating my essential self from the passing energy of my feelings has raised the speed at which I have been able to heal.
Did you know what you choose to make time for shows you what you deem important? And even if you do not think you have a choice, you are ALWAYS choosing. It cannot be otherwise. If you think it is...you are not looking closely enough.
I used to make time for rummaging around the sad parts of being me. I used to make time for weeping uncontrollably because I knew this was healing energy at work. I used to make time for contacting all my friends and loved ones to make sure I was staying connected. I was choosing to heal.
I still do some of these things, but I am now making time for meditation. I am choosing to stay connected with that which is central to my being. It is here where peace lives. My new life craves this kind of peace.
I am also making time to paint, to love myself by eating better, to design a new home, and to help others when and where I can. This 'paying it forward' is newly important. There is much Joy for me in service. So I am making time for it. But, in this too, there must be balance. So sometimes I hang up my superhero cape and just make time for being me - to play.
Do you see the pattern here? Just look at that for-which-you-make-time. Do you like what you see? What is fundamentally important to your being happy? If you look closely enough, you will begin to uncover the belief system on which you have built your life to date. All from just looking around at what is in front of you.
So if you are not happy with what you see... I wonder if I even need to finish this sentence?
I am grateful for these awarenesses, and I wish the same for you!
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