Monday, November 30, 2015

All Things are Possible


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible" ~walt disney


I am making room for the possibility of bliss. I am letting go of old constraints. I have reasoned that without opening up to the idea of bliss I would not be able to approach it. 

So I am making room to be in bliss, to become blind to that which harnesses me to old ways of being. I have not come this far through the muck and I have not restoratively lain by the sidelines for these many long nights to not get up and get going now that I am just that - restored.

Coming to a conclusion. Concluding a completion. I must be walking through this inner door and hanging up my old hat. I am unencumbered without moss on my feet. I have groaned and growed up. My peace is in knowing that now is the time to move on.  

Thank you for helping me see and be aware of these things for without this constant inner vision not much could manifest. And with this inner vision all things are possible!


Can you see inside yourself well enough...yet?

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Friday, November 20, 2015

More Truth about Love



Perhaps you do not experience yourself this way, but my thoughts of you contain joy, wonder and adventure. These, of course, are my experiences. They come from me and you are not actually in them. But you reflect these feelings within me. And I like that!

And there is NO OBLIGATION for you to be anything other than who you believe yourself to be. You owe me nothing. My joy, my sense of wonder and my cultivation of adventure are mine alone. And in letting go of YOU I am somehow transformed and able to see this more clearly. 

This is the part that causes trouble. This is where many folks get tripped up because we believe our love resides in the other, is attached to the other, and depends on the other for us to feel it. And this gives rise to us holding back, hiding or being afraid.

I have experienced the opposite to be true. When I become transparent and vulnerable I am not losing anything. I will never be in danger as my feelings of love reside within me. Love is a choice. Love is my practice.

Being transparent and vulnerable is where the treasure is. This is where the growing happens. This is where we are each eachother's teacher and eachother's student. In it's purest form this is how LOVE works…in our own Joy, Compassion and Wholeness...without grasping, without attachment and without fear.

Oh, I know it ain't easy! It requires a lot of internal work and a real commitment to practice to get to these places of deep abiding Trust.

But I Trust this is the Truth. And I know you are my teacher in this. Thank you for showing me the way...one day at a time.


Who teaches you stuff? And what have you learned today?

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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Belonging



"When you appreciate yourself, you realize that you don't have to feel wretched or condemned. You don't have to artificially puff yourself up, either. You discover your basic dignity, which comes along with gentleness. You have always possessed this, but you may never have recognized it before. You don't have to be a egomaniac to appreciate yourself. In fact, you appreciate yourself more when you are free of the ugliness of that egotism, which is actually based on self-hatred. Look in the mirror. Appreciate yourself. You look beautiful in a simple, humble way. When you choose your clothes, when you comb your hair, when you take a shower, you are expressing an element of complete and fundamental goodness, wakefulness, and decency. There is an alternative to feeling condemned. You actually can make friends with yourself." ~Chogyam Trungpa

1249 days since my husband died and still healing is a foot! Still I comb the underbrush of my soul for answers…today I ask, "Where do I belong?"

Where can I lay down and be loved and accepted and feel vital and alive at the same time? 

This is where I belong!

I belong where I can live once again in ripeness and freedom, in nakedness without shame.

Why MUST I have just one fellow human to be this way with. Why is my 'where' so hard to find? 

Why is my belonging so important? What do I gain from where I belong?

Because when you belong to someone you feel connected and safe and warm. The idea of separation fades and ideas of love can be explored. I recall having this and I sure liked it a lot. I remember belonging...before. 

Now belonging has to be different because it just is. Though it has been the most painful work I have ever done, the loss of that old belonging has introduced me to other ideas about connection and love and safety I could have never visited before.

To be adrift belonging to no one. To skate on thin ice and melt upon the sun. To become while without another. To creep forward slowly on my hands and knees. To Trust the experience of pain enough to feel it fully while it surfaces and again as it passes away. To feel so connected yet so on my own. 

All of this is to come to 'where I belong.' All of this is the journey not just of a day, but of a lifetime. 

So I guess I have to be more patient...

What are you impatient for?

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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

A Simple Reminder...




“We can be thankful to a friend for a few acres or a little money; and yet for the freedom and command of the whole earth, and for the great benefits of our being, our life, health, and reason, we look upon ourselves as under no obligation.” ~marcus anneals seneca


...good health, a magnificent home, many loving friends, one ever faithful dog, a myriad of artistic gifts, intimately communicative family members, a colossal wanderlust for adventure, a boundless trust in the flow of life and an ever growing capacity to receive love.

It really does raise the vibration of the moment to write this shit down!


What are you waiting for?
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Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Cycle of Knowing and Not Knowing


Summer has ended. 

Fall has just begun. 

Hurdling toward shortening daylight and the contraction of things 
today I am reminiscing about
contemplation.

NOW 
is a good time to plant.
Hibernating, then germinating in the darkness of uncertainty
with time and patience thoughts break open
up
through 
thawing grounds. 

Once their time has come there will be no stopping them. 

Of this I am certain.


Planning ahead in the NOW. Is there really such a thing?

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Friday, September 11, 2015

Essentially Especially You


"You are a unique being. It is not in your doing, it is in your being that matters. This is where the magic happens. Your doing is just the last step in the distillation of you."


I was fortunate enough to visit a lavender distillery this summer in France. There I saw how fields of fragrant flowers are grown, harvested and then distilled into essential oils. Tons of lavender placed in huge vats were subjected to heat and steam so the essence of this marvelous plant could be extracted as it's most potent expression.

Would it be an absurd leap to consider living as an act of or process by which we distill our lives?  A distillery is simply a vessel (ourselves) in which is collected a large amount of a substance (our unique and highest visions for ourselves) in order to extract the most potent essence of the thing (a magnificent life!) 

Thank you for indulging my fragrant imagination!

In the past just taking what the outside world had given up was my way. Not a wit nor care did I give to the banquet of choice before me. This is just how I was taught it worked.

But what if...what if we have it backwards? What if our experiences could be distilled by carefully cultivating our visions of what we THINK is possible? What if CHOICE mattered more than circumstance to our field of dreams?

What if I start inside myself - with my hopes to give and receive love, with my desire to live in beauty and feel amazed or with my requirement to know I am safe and all is well?

In these past three years, since my husband's death, I have been actively collecting visions of my highest and most heartfelt desires and consciously choosing to declare them manifest. And you know what - they did indeed become distilled into some mighty potent experiences.

And the more I become aware that the happenings around me are simply the proof of what's seeded within me I am convinced this is the way of things. This is how we were meant to live - powerfully manifesting that which we can imagine. Not by knowing how, but by simply knowing ourselves and what we want from and for our lives.

For me, unlearning things taught, re-learning what works best and choosing to constantly question the Truth of what I see before me has helped me tap into the sweetest elixir of my lifetime. And it is comprised merely of all that I am and all I desire.

Our experiences are the distillation of our beliefs and self-defined limitations. This is the recipe for the most potent essence of "what is" in a life! Yes - it starts inside. And I expect it will end inside as well. I think this is called "introspection."

Have you diluted your essence by defining yourself by your external circumstances alone? Are you polluting your essential self with doubts and fears or by simple inattention? What are you putting into the pot that is then purified and extracted as the life you are living? Are you distilling the most potent possibility of you there is?
Here's to finding your own way towards creating the essential you!


How do you include active introspection as part of your daily routine?

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Monday, September 7, 2015

Without Boundaries


"One must learn the patience of right timing but that patience itself is an active participation in the rhythm and balance of the Divine stream of life." ~david spangler


How am I without boundaries? Does South mean sweet tea and biscuits and North mean bagels and coffee? I have come to see that geography has less traction than new and old beliefs which take hold in me.

I am a person who cares deeply about how her hair looks, loves AC and red ripe tomatoes with mayo – is that Southern? You tell me. Yonder is a place I no longer go. Here and now is where I am meant to be.

Perhaps I am Northern in a Deepok Chopra way. It is within the cool colored chakras above the heart where I like to play. That’s where my peace and proclivities lay.

It is really hard to do, but I want to care less about stories, illusions and possibilities and care more about what is right here in front of me. I want to work hard to see and be the still eternal unchanging Truth among a steady stream of ripples and tides. I am sure this is where my lessons are. I am a work in progress of no particular hemisphere.

What are the things that bind us together - death and life, taxes and Facebook? Certainly not Facebook. So many things to Like and yet so many impersonal monsters breathing faithless fires and breeding so many half-true friends.

Geographical lines are flung out into space as we entertain each other with cats wearing hats and placards of uplifting crap. The bottom line is I am of this world and so are we all - each of us creating and dissolving our boundaries as we go.

My boundaries are more fragile and less sharp than ever. I have been training myself to trade judgment for wonder and expectation for joy. This exchange has swooshed me down a transcendent trail. A trek that has along side it a sun speckled waterway into which I am willingly flung.

Floating merrily merrily down that stream in my big blue-black inner tube, I bob boundlessly with the flow. 

I cannot tell you how long it will take me to reach the end - that place down stream where my imaginary friend has parked our trusty and even more imaginary jeep. But it does not matter as I have given up goal setting too. 

I am experiencing just being plopped in the center of the whole, suspended and positioned just so - so I can only look up as I go.

I am manifesting Peaceful Patience as I look for the Truth in all things. It will show me the way.

What are you manifesting?

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