Square 1

I am hoping this day finds you well and well loved in your lovely abode. I wrote this about one year ago. Seems appropriate to revisit it for I am feeling like I am here again - at square 1 - today.

February 10, 2013

I am approaching the beginning of week 3 of experiment Lani. I am finding that a planned activity  - just one mind you - for each day is a must have.

It allows the illusion of accomplishment.

And lends structure. I choose this "task" before going to bed the nite before. 

And I have optional tasks I can add if the mood suits. The objective is to keep  moving toward my goal - at a pace that fits me well, leaving room for flexibility and miracles.

What is my goal, you may be asking yourself? I ask myself this regularly because I ache to move on, Beats me! "Healing" comes to mind. I wish I had more clarity, but it is not to be at this time. "Ask again later," says the magic 8 Ball that has become my life. Not so bad really, just different than before.

Different than before my husband got sick. Different than before I helped my husband die. Different than before I quit my job. Different than before I was forced to look within because everything without is so... so... different.

January 22, 2014

A few things have changed. Most days I let flow w/o needing to accomplish something. I sometimes have multiple tasks per day and I sometimes have no tasks and am accepting of this.

I have an inkling I am going to teach again, but the initial enthusiasm is meeting with some resistance...more will be revealed! I have built in some external supports to help me along...but sure could use more support!

What is the same is the knowledge that everything is definitely different than I have ever known before.

Viva la difference - perhaps?

How are you different from a year ago?

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