Tuesday, November 5, 2013

"So what do you do?"





Contemplating how to answer the question, "So what do you do?"I can say any number of things. "I am an artist. I am on sabbatical. I am on an artistic pleasure cruise. I am healing from a great loss. I am recovering after my husband's death." 

The Truth is "I spend my time lifting the veil from my consciousness... and you?" Not good fodder for a casual conversation...or a first date.  

What does that mean anyway..."lifting the veil from my consciousness?"

Imagine this. You are at sea on a trip you never intended. And getting your bearings takes a great deal of effort. You have no idea of where your headed or the length of your journey. You recall what being on solid ground used to feel like. And you anticipate docking ---at some port ---some day - but are confident of nothing else.  


Each day presents itself anew. Some mornings are fresh and unspoiled by conditions of the past so you feel "free" to chart your course as you choose. Other AMs roll you in tar and feathers and insist you just take it like a man. How would you approach this circumstance? 


Somedays I am awake and I make deliberate choices. Others days I allow my feelings to have free reign. Either way I am adrift in a ocean of me-me-me grasping too tightly... and sometimes... letting go. I am told this self-absorption is to be expected in cases like mine. But REALLY isn't there an expiration date on this "navel gazing?"

I do see some progress though. I am experiencing a great deal of ACCEPTANCE these days. And there is also a more robust center of gravity that is being developed ---which helps my cause. This new-ish internal gyroscope is being built within me. It invites me to balance things out more easily. 

Still no itinerary. Still no destination. But lots of budding awarenesses to make note of --- like Darwin, uncovering Origin of Species. 


So how do you answer this question,  "What do you do?"


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3 comments:

  1. I have been reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth and teaching from it for the last 6 weeks and I think I'd prefer to say who I am rather than what I do and choose to see all that I do as an extension of by being-ness.

    I am a lover of God
    I am a conscious being
    I am a compassionate soul
    I am an insightful teacher
    I am an intelligent woman
    I am a passionate being
    I am a sweet and loving family member

    I choose to have everything I do flow from these “points of light”.

    Ok tangibly I answer that question when it’s not appropriate to go that deep, I am an accountant and metaphysical teacher.

    Great Post!

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  2. At first I thought the question would have to read "What do you do first?" If I were to have anything to add to this. Your "Imagine this..." paragraph describes my life as a stay at home Mom...

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  3. Congratulations on your new blog Lani!

    You have always had a remarkable gift for words and self expression. You might just add writer to your curriculum vitae soon. :)

    Aren't we all on our own life voyages at sea, more adrift at certain times than others? We're always free to change course, set sail in a new direction as the spirit moves us...or as the stars chart our destiny. But sometimes we really need to drift...to have a "time-out" to re-group. That's when we really stretch and grow. You're doing deep inner work...no small thing.

    What do I do?

    Don't we all hate the limitations labels put on us....but here it is...
    I am a pastel portrait artist and teacher. At home I am a cook, laundress, maid, wife, dog-walker...homemaker. Sounds pretty dull compared to the sensationally alive feelings inside me to describe my living, but there it is.

    Oh yes, and a spiritual seeker and astrologer. There's some magic in that description!

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