APRIL'S FOOL - and Every Other Month for that Matter!

“The words you speak become the house you live in.” ~Hafiz

It happened again.

I felt really small again and all my accomplishments-to-date were negated by my judgemental mind. I cannot tell you how it started. All I know is one minute I was having a great day then I felt it melt away. It wasn't a crash and burn situation. It felt more like a slow insidious termite infestation that you don't know about until your foot breaks threw the kitchen floor.

As my firm foundation crumbled my confidence morphed into doubt and 2nd guessing. THINKING these things stopped my forward motion. It was then that my THOUGHTS lasso'd my EMOTIONS. And my emotions then took over and hog-tied me but good!

Eventually I recognized it. Then I fought it

Then, after shedding some tears, I placed all this energy fully and gently in the light of my own LOVE and COMPASSION.

…and then I was large and limitless once again!


What is your bounce back strategy?

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A New Way to Love

"The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky,

Are also on the faces of people going by.

I see friends shaking hands, sayin', "How do you do?"

They're really saying, " I love you" 

~from Lyrics "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong

I am IN love. 

Not like "what is his name?" kind of love. 

Not like "every Cary Grant movie ever made" kind of love. 

And not like "co-dependent attachment you can't do without it" kind of love.

What I mean is I am always "IN love" because I am always surrounded by (in) Source (love) all of the time.

Feels great to use these words - "IN love" about myself when I know it is not some bullshit positive thinking word game but my honest and real Truth.

Feels great to use these words - "IN love"  about myself when I know that this love cannot and will never be taken away from me.

Feels great to use these words - "IN love" about myself in such a new and different way than ever before -  so fully, passionately and completely.

Within this Love I am safely held. And it just feels great!

Can you dig it? Too quote Billy Crystal as Louis Armstrong, "I knew that you could. Oh Yaaaah…"

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The Divine in Scotland

the divine in the palm of our hands

"I am where I need to be.

Everything around me

includes and hides the sacred."

                     ~ Mary Mrozowski

This includes haggis.

What is divine that is in front of you?

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Good Purposeless-ness...from Other Voices

"like the lovely, free-form edge of a bird's wings, we cultivate our essence, an alchemy of soul.....this, simply by being present and alive.....yes, fully alive...…" 

~ in the blue

Our Strength Found in Fragile Depths 

"I am especially struck with the idea

of the purposeless life,

filling the well with snow.

I suppose all life is just that anyway,

but we are obsessed with purpose" 

~Thomas Merton

____________________

"The longing to live free from care, or to live what Merton in his letter to Suzuki calls the purposeless life, should not be mistaken for a simple disregard for others or for the world, or a willingness to live without care for persons or things. Rather, it expresses a hunger to discover a more honest, free, and open way of living in the world that enables one to see and respond to the other without succumbing to the temptation to think of such relationships only in terms of their utility and purpose. 

Indeed, one of the fundamental questions raised by the contemplative tradition has to do with how best to understand purpose and utility in human life, and whether the meaning of things depends on their having a purpose or a use. Also, whether an insistence on the fundamental value of utility and purposefulness undermines our very capacity to see and notice and respond to the world in its own terms. 

At its roots, these are also questions about what kind of value we attribute to things like play, imagination, attention, and prayer; and whether they can be understood, at least in conventional or economic terms, as having any purpose at all. Especially important in this regard is the cultivation of the kind of capacious awareness that can help us learn to feel and take in the beauty and power of the world for its own sake and refrain from evaluating it purely in terms of its utility. 

And while the cultivation and practice of such awareness may not be sufficient in itself to help us redress the pernicious effects of our utilitarian and acquisitive culture, the recovery of such capacity will almost certainly be necessary to the kind of sustained imaginative, ecological, and spiritual renewal of the world" 

~ Douglas Christie

_______________________

"liquid life in motion

So from the ground we felt that virtue branch

Through all our veins till we were whole, our wrists

As fresh and pure as water from a well,

Our hands made new to handle holy things,

The source of all our seeing rinsed and cleansed

Till earth and light and water entering there

Gave back to us the clear unfallen world."

~ Edwin Muir

In Blue | October 15, 2014 at 6:03 am | Tags: aliveness, awakening heart, awe, beauty defined, deep kindness, deep longing, deep play, fragile beauty, free spirit, fresh perspective, inner divinity, nurturing beauty, sacred awareness, seeking the sacred, spirit in flight | Categories: Beauty | URL: http://wp.me/p1Wc4z-2J5

Like Walking on the Moon!

Love is a many splendid thing, but it is NOT something concrete -  nor is Will, Reason or Imagination. Yet we've all experienced these insubstantial (yet very foundational) things. 

We've all felt love for a person, place or thing. We've all willed ourselves out of bed. And we're always Reasoning... "Is it better to do thing A or thing B?"

In general, none of these intangibles can be weighed on a scale, held in our hands or seen with our eyes. But they are no less real than the frozen tundra of Greenland, a fig leaf or the elephant in the room. I am sure you get the picture - right? 

Yet because they are unseen they always seem to be neglected. There just never is a good time to examine the weight of them on our lives. Or the unlimited possibilities of holding them in our consciousness. Or to experiment with them to see how they can help us manifest a better life for ourselves.

For me, when I caught wind that I could intentionally make muscular my ability to see and fortify Love or Intuition -- insert your desired intangible here -- it felt exactly like walking on the moon! What a strange and beautiful place to be, but how do I navigate? At first, in this unfamiliar place I was unable to grasp things with my goofy large gloves and only able to breath from my own limited supply of recirculated air. And I was sure the tank would run out sooner or later. Then I started to take a walk out into the unknown.

Now, after some time playing with these ideas, the gloves have come off. I am untethered! I am examining "the thing" I want from every angle. How do I feel about it? What do I believe. Why do I believe what I believe? Is this belief of mine really true? 

This helps me form a clearer picture of what I want and what I do not want. And from this place IT IS EASY to hold in my consciousness exactly the effect I want to show up in my life. And damn it if I don't see real evidence of my most heartfelt desires right in front of these new eyes of mine. They may not be in the form, color or shape I pictured but they are just what I ordered! 

The trick I found was in not planning how, but just holding the result in mind and more importantly feeling how I would feel when my intangible showed up. Then, having refined it, just let it go.

This takes some practice. I've had to renegotiate within a different gravitational pull. But now -that I sort of have the hang of it - the air is less rare and my tank is always full!

What new thing will you try today?

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In the Stream

Today I am noticing my open heart is a garden where everything placed in it grows. And everything that comes from it nourishes. And when I relax into the flow of life, life provides all that I need easily and comfortably. 

LIFE is on my side!

What better motivation can there be to arrange things in your life so your heart space is the preeminent filter through which all things flow?

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The Rush of Simple Pleasure

I felt there again. It was so sweet, that connection to one's I love. We had dinner, my dear friends and I. We discussed all sorts of real and true things about our daily lives, but nothing heavy, nothing too deep. Just regular sharing and regular joy. 

Their, now 2, baby's care came first as we juggled conversation with eating and with all other things. We were together in my home feeling...good. 

The keel is evening out as this is the life I picture for myself. Loving people sharing a lovely time. Closeness and warmth - no dramas, no tears for a change. 

Just the pleasantness of good food, your company and me. I am steeped in gratitude for awareness of this simple pleasure.

What makes up a simple pleasure for you?

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Thinking About Contemplation

I am struck by the difference in the participants when one contemplates verses when one meditates. It seems to me meditation requires joyous wide and vast emptiness and contemplation joyously lets in all comers. Both allow for emergence of higher understanding. Both require an acknowledgement of an inner life and willingness to see. I am so grateful for this cleaving of ideas which I never knew before!

But it seems meditation is private and contemplation leans toward being more public. Evoking a contemplative state wants grandeur and simplicity to intertwine with all of our senses. And it wants us to document it somehow - in verse, song, essay, art or other - to hopefully evoke itself again in others.

Both straddle eternity.

Have you made time to be contemplative today?

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Love, onesize fits all...BIG!

When I was younger, before I found Love, I only knew the empty space where Love was not. I walked around throwing everything at the empty space. Some things made it in, some did not. I came close a few times, a few boys, a few men, even a career temporarily filled me up. 

But when my husband and I met we found ourselves within each other's Love. The process was gradual. Our commitment to each other's well-being grew strong. We fed each others strengths and held one another during the hardest of times. Until two summers ago...when I held my Love for the last time. 

Now my awareness of Love has leveled up. It had to. Michael's life was a substantial introduction to Love. His Death was the consummate master class. I thought he took his love with him. And in a way he did. I no longer could touch Love with my hands or see Love with my eyes. But I realize now his love was proof of Love. It was a FLASH of a much more vast incorporeal reservoir of Love.  

Reservoir of Love...who knew this Big Love even existed?  Discovering this Big Love is like hitting the lottery. It is actually better as it can never be taken away. It is an endless supply that keeps you warm at night, keeps your sights set high and keeps you from doing desperate things --- like giving your power away.

My Big Love has me knowing I am brightly and boldly designed to withstand most anything. Big Love deems me worthy... just because. And you can be sure you have your own reservoir of Big Love...as we are all designed brightly and boldly. We are all worthy...just because. 

It is a wonderful thing to demonstrate your own true value. Knowing I can freely go to the safe space in my heart and withdraw what I need for the day is a revelation! I can take extra out to give to a friend in need. And from within Big Love I see Big Love in others. 

Sometimes something happens and I slip back toward a place where I cannot get in. And I cannot remember my password - no matter how hard I try. But when I am paying attention or just when I am ready I take the long walk back. Back to that peaceful place, the center of my heart, where I do not need a password. Then Big Love beckons to me!

Big Love is always there. The process is gradual. When you allow it, it feeds your strengths and holds you during the hardest of times. "All is well. I am here." it says. " I love you more than I ever have and nothing can ever change that." 

When I settle into this warm and open place I feel relief. Soon I begin to feel my courage and power return. 

Then I begin again.

What is your love story? 
 
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