A Call to the Universe

So I am having fun and they all say, "Just follow your passions and life will find you!" But I still have that longing, that requirement to be intimately engaged with one other person. To be joyfully entwined with them and all their interesting foibles and have them lovingly entwined with me and all my curious faults.

Why do I want to be peas to some one's carrots? 

Because I know there is soooooo much joy and laughter in this kind of sharing and caring for another. Yes, there will be challenges too, but for the personality that I am, there is nothing in this life that beats this kind of experience. And I want more of it. I want lightning to strike twice. I want a correction made in my path that allows this intimate experience to come directly to me. Do not pass go. Do no collect 200 dollars.

I also know this is how we grow. I know perceived foibles of the other leads us toward discovering our own truths. Yes - although our perceived faults may at times be spot on, they are more often than not guideposts toward something needing recognition within ourselves.

And I know that even when the object of this relationship departs, the Love shared remains forever. This I know for sure.

So it is this kind of circumstance I long for... dare I say it... a love relationship. There are just so many opportunities for such a variety of adventures on a daily basis! Doesn't this excite you?  Well, perhaps it doesn't you, but for me it is pure heaven.

The puzzle of loving someone has an unlimited number of pieces. And I am ready to spread them out on the table and slowly and carefully discover life's biggest picture together. Ah yes, please bring my spiritual partner to me so we can pick up the pieces together.

Of course, the alternative to this kind of experience is to just continue to follow my own passions & have loads of fun. Now these are two very good choices I can get behind! No rocks. No hard places. Just life naturally unfolding with ease, along with Spring, allowing both the sun and the rain to grow me up! 

Have you a longing that needs a more refined definition?

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Heartbreak

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." ~Mark Twain

It is real - the root of the thing. 

But is made distant by

the everything else.

I am creative and powerful

Yet I cannot shun the weight of it

It is cornered - me and it together

Win some, lose some

Be careful what you wish for

It cannot be you 

It can never be you

It can only be the Truth

Not enough chocolate in the world...

Love, onesize fits all...BIG!

When I was younger, before I found Love, I only knew the empty space where Love was not. I walked around throwing everything at the empty space. Some things made it in, some did not. I came close a few times, a few boys, a few men, even a career temporarily filled me up. 

But when my husband and I met we found ourselves within each other's Love. The process was gradual. Our commitment to each other's well-being grew strong. We fed each others strengths and held one another during the hardest of times. Until two summers ago...when I held my Love for the last time. 

Now my awareness of Love has leveled up. It had to. Michael's life was a substantial introduction to Love. His Death was the consummate master class. I thought he took his love with him. And in a way he did. I no longer could touch Love with my hands or see Love with my eyes. But I realize now his love was proof of Love. It was a FLASH of a much more vast incorporeal reservoir of Love.  

Reservoir of Love...who knew this Big Love even existed?  Discovering this Big Love is like hitting the lottery. It is actually better as it can never be taken away. It is an endless supply that keeps you warm at night, keeps your sights set high and keeps you from doing desperate things --- like giving your power away.

My Big Love has me knowing I am brightly and boldly designed to withstand most anything. Big Love deems me worthy... just because. And you can be sure you have your own reservoir of Big Love...as we are all designed brightly and boldly. We are all worthy...just because. 

It is a wonderful thing to demonstrate your own true value. Knowing I can freely go to the safe space in my heart and withdraw what I need for the day is a revelation! I can take extra out to give to a friend in need. And from within Big Love I see Big Love in others. 

Sometimes something happens and I slip back toward a place where I cannot get in. And I cannot remember my password - no matter how hard I try. But when I am paying attention or just when I am ready I take the long walk back. Back to that peaceful place, the center of my heart, where I do not need a password. Then Big Love beckons to me!

Big Love is always there. The process is gradual. When you allow it, it feeds your strengths and holds you during the hardest of times. "All is well. I am here." it says. " I love you more than I ever have and nothing can ever change that." 

When I settle into this warm and open place I feel relief. Soon I begin to feel my courage and power return. 

Then I begin again.

What is your love story? 
 
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